#1. Missing time.
My inspiration is the Honey Bear. How sick have I been? Four 12 oz. Honey Bear's worth. Number four just bit the dust, and I was just sitting here, for God knows how many minutes exactly, holding the inverted Honey Bear bottle over my cup of tea, hoping that I could gather enough agonizingly slow droplets for decent flavor. I'm beginning to think that most people who claim to be UFO abductees are just people with really bad head colds.
#2. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pouring boiling water into plastic Honey Bear #3 to melt the crystalized shards at the bottom of the bottle. Honey Bears are almost always made of plastic. Really bad idea.
#4. Driving.
Anywhere, anytime when you are full of antibiotics, corticosteroids, and prescription strength codeine-laced cough syrup.
#3. Forgeting to ask your brain to call you now and then to let you know where it's gone and when it might be coming back.
'Cause you apparently can't count to ten without hints.
#5. Dropping out of sight.
I have been to the office twice in the past two weeks. Haven't seen my trainer, my shrink, my accupuncture doctor, friends, masseuse, etc. etc. Haven't really talked to any of them much either.
#6. Melted the teapot.
Okay, so the pot itself didn't melt, just the cute little green plastic ball on the lid, which sort of oozed down and wound up looking like an old-fashioned wax letter seal. The stainless steel pot just changed to a neat pewter color.
#7. Missing Time, part deux, or It seemed like a good idea at the time, part deux.
Pouring cold water on a teapot that has been heated to blast furnace forge temperatures on your stove.
#8. It was either that or my shirt.
You haven't lived until you are so desperate to blow your nose that you turn to the used Mickey Dee's napkin you found wedged between the car seats.
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